My dream was always to be a teacher. When I was in elementary school, I wanted to be an elementary school teacher. In junior high, I wanted to be a junior high school teacher. In high school, well... you get my drift.
I started college with the intention of being a physics education major. I even started down that path and took my first education courses. A mentor of mine at the time, advised me that if I ever wanted to pursue a Master's degree in physics I would have about 2 years worth of classes to take before that would be possible (at my school, the education curriculum replaced most of the upper division physics courses). That made sense to me so I switched to a physics major and never looked back.
Now, 10 years after graduating with my physics degree, I'm back at school pursuing a Master's in Science of Instruction with the end goal being to teach physics.
My excuses all these years for why I wasn't pursuing teaching have been pretty set The 2 big excuses I used were not being able to relate to the kids and discipline issues. It was back in mid-February 2010 that I finally realized that these were the excuses that were keeping me from pursuing my childhood dream.
Both of these are potential concerns but I realized the needed attitude shift was mine to make first and foremost. A friend of mine from church kindly pointed out that I struggle relating with kids in part because I'm not yet a parent and in part because I didn't really have a childhood. I won't go into the speciifics but I spent much of my childhood trying to be mature and responsible partly because anything else wasn't accepted in my household.
During the past 2 years, interacting with children in my church community, I've noticed my attitude towards children start to change. Although I still feel awkward at times around children, I am more often inspired by them and even empathetic to the challenges of being a young person in our society. My how kids have changed now that I've changed my attitude towards them.
I no longer automatically see kids as disobedient troublemakers whose intention is to consume my time and energy. Instead, they are individuals I can probably learn from if I take the time to slow down and pay attention. My interactions with young people have changed so dramatically since the evolution of my attitude began. This change made it possible for me to see my excuses (not relating to kids and discipline issues) as the work of my imagination rather than a fixed reality.
I know that it wil take me a while to learn how best to interact with young people. Fortunately, I've got about 2 years before I'm teaching and a great network of people that will support me through my growth.
I know that I made the right decision 10 years ago, when I changed my major to physics and chose not to pursue teaching at that time. Knowing how much I've grown in the past 10 years, I'm confident that I wouldn't have liked teaching back then. I think dealing with the students would have been a constant struggle - in reality some of the time but in my mind all of the time.
Now, I'm pursuing my dream and my imagination is driving me forward rather than holding me back.
Until next time, Andrea
Welcome to blogging!
ReplyDeleteI share your awkwardness towards kids. I realized pretty early on when I started my certification that I do not relate well to young children, so for me, it was pretty easy to decide on teaching high school (math).
I like to joke with my students that I became a teacher because I like giving the kids back at the end of the day, and the state frowns on doing that sort of thing with one's own kids. I will tell you now that there will be some kids that will break your heart, and some kids that will break *into* your heart (and sometimes they're the same kids!). On the whole, I wouldn't trade the last 5 years for anything, however.
Good luck!